Tuesday, November 22, 2011

WTH Happened???

I am seriously overwhelmed right now...  It is hitting me hard how much stuff I'm trying to manage, including this blog, which I've intentionally neglected to free up some brain power & focus.  The re-A-rangers business is starting to take off again, but I'm still working full-time-plus (does anyone work just a 40-hour week anymore?) - and I'm still a wife, mother & home owner; not to mention, photographer, decorator, business developer, artist, friend, relative, team mom, organizer, writer, investigator, volunteer, exerciser, housekeeper, scrapbooker, social mediaist, project manager...  my many hats are wearing me down.

Ugh.

After almost 8 years in our house, we're finally building out an office space in the basement.  This is exhilarating and depressing at the same time.  Construction starts the first of next week and the years and years and years of stuffing, hoarding, neglecting & ignoring is hitting me full in the face.  We filled up a truck-plus of 1800-Got-Junk yesterday, and a carload of donations to Goodwill.  Today my car is packed with paper recycling we had accumulated in the basement.  Tonight when I get home from work, I'll be back down there pulling & packing up another carload to donate on my way to work and will repeat the process for the day after.

I'm realizing what a waste of stuff I have... things I've been hanging onto to use when we finally get to this point, but now, they're just not what I want or need.  Finally, bookshelves will be set up but seeing the volume of books I have kept packed, plus the ones I've since bought over the years, has me reeling...  whenever do I think I will or can read them all????  Papers, design cut sheets, scrapbooking materials, files...  it all needs a home, and a specific home, because the big-black-hole of the basement is no longer available.

See?  Exhilarating and depressing all at the same time.

At some point I have to stop & take care of the part of the house we live in as we're hosting Thanksgiving this year.  Thanks, Mom, for catching me off guard with that and thank goodness it's just my mom & my sister's family.  If the house doesn't get clean, it doesn't get clean - if it were the in-laws, I'd be in panic mode right now, LOL (but it's not funny). 

I'm going to get through this, I know I will...  I start by categorizing like things with the intention of going back & sorting through the sections.  Somehow, I never get to "the categorized sections" so stuff just accumulates more.  It's a vicious cycle that needs to stop.  Today.  Because today, especially, I am acutely aware of how hoarding and neglect put us at the mercy of our stuff and I do not want to be controlled by things.  I want to be in control.  I've made this pledge to myself so many times.  I am really hoping this time is "the time."  Oh, wait... let's rephrase that:  THIS TIME WILL BE THE TIME.

Right?  Right.

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